So here you are, matching hotties at Soul2Match, getting some good scores, initiating a conversation and wow! look at that! you are going on a date!
Now…There are many things you can start worrying about when it comes to The First Date. We all have a list of major deal breakers, and it’s a good thing to figure out if any of those deal breakers are present in a guy or girl you like before you go out on a date. But—and this is very important but—you need to be reasonable
As sex advice columnist Dan Savage puts it (check video at the bottom), if you’ve got a list of deal breakers that has more than five things on it you are the problem. Your deal breaker list should look something like this:
- Heavy drug use
- Has no ambition
- Still in love with ex-boy or girlfriend from a decade ago
- Says “I love you” on the first date
- Owns more than two cats (you know, if you hate cats and have a pet hair allergy)
It should not look like this:
- Chews with mouth open
- Leaves mayonnaise out on the counter
- Has opposing political views
- Is shorter/taller than me
- Doesn’t think Titanic is the best movie, like, ever!!
You might be surprised by how easy it can be to get over the things that you think make a person completely unappealing. You have to make sure you don’t rule anyone out because they occasionally forget to turn of the oven or have been known to enjoy pornography. That said, you don’t want to waste your time going out with someone who isn’t compatible.
One of the benefits of online dating is that you can exchange a few messages and ask these sorts of questions. You don’t want to ask “So I was wondering…are you a heavy drug user?” but rather bring up the topic so it can be discussed. Perhaps you’re talking about your weekend and you went to a party where you had to leave early because you hate the smell of marijuana. Or perhaps you stayed for hours because of the same reason.
Whatever the case may be, try to slip into these topics naturally. Not only will you find deal breakers, but you’ll also learn a lot more about a person than you would from just asking “hey, what’s up?”
Oh, if I were you I would also check Merritt Martin’s ones, just for fun