Can men and women be just friends? Well NO!

A recently published article titled “Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship” in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships confirms what many of us have known for a long time now, namely that it’s quite difficult for men and women to be just friends. Here’s what the research tells us:

We propose that, because cross-sex friendships are a historically recent phenomenon, men’s and women’s evolved mating strategies impinge on their friendship experiences. In our first study involving pairs of friends, emerging adult males reported more attraction to their friend than emerging adult females did, regardless of their own or their friend’s current relationship status. In our second study, both emerging and middle-aged adult males and females nominated attraction to their cross-sex friend as a cost more often than as a benefit. Younger females and middle-aged participants who reported more attraction to a current cross-sex friend reported less satisfaction in their current romantic relationship. Our findings implicate attraction in cross-sex friendship as both common and of potential negative consequence for individuals’ long-term mateships.

Do you remember this video?

Tell me, are we lying to ourselves (and the cameraman ) because we do want to keep this friendship? If the guy has feelings for you and you know it, is this really a friendship? What is going to happen when you both become open about it? Is it selfish to ignore the fact and keep your ‘good friend’? Do we do it because of the male attention? Or the control over? I am curious what your comments are..